The SterlingChoices Blog!

One person; Many dimensions

It has been more than a week since family, friends, and fans bid Michael J. Jackson farewell at his memorial service at the Staple Center in Los Angeles. Yet, the passage of time doesn't seem to make his sudden passing less surreal. 

Ever since the initial pronouncement of his death, there have been a daily barrage of news reports, updates, and dedicated programs covering his life. In the process, a spotlight has been cast on the good and the bad. Some of the media coverage has drawn considerable criticism for focusing less on the genius of his art and the way in which he transformed the music industry and more on his human foibles.

As I watch and listen to the media coverage and engage in conversations with my own family and friends about the full spectrum of Michael's life, I am reminded of a human truth: none of us are one-dimensional.

Soon, the shock of his death will subside, as will the media coverage. But what I hope won't fade - what also won't be "Gone Too Soon" - is the reminder best summed up in the lyrics in a song by Damien Marley: "love the right and don't judge the wrong." 

Tour de France

This is a great blog post, courtesy of Weakonomics, illustrating what lessons we can take away from the Tour de France and apply to the management of our money.

Technique is Not Enough

 

I knew I was in trouble as soon as I walked through the door. The usual music was playing in the background and the aromatherapy was inviting. But the welcoming, warm, fuzzy, and soothing feeling I was expecting to envelope me was simply not there -- which is a bad sign for any spa but especially one that has "tranquility" in its name!

It had been eight months since my last massage and I have been moving at warp speed lately, so I had been really looking forward to this. Slowing down and being pampered was just what the "doctor" ordered.

I had envisioned a nice changing room with fluffy robes and nice flip-flops, taking a quick hot shower before my massage just to get "ready," having a great massage topped off with some time spent in the sauna and steam rooms, followed by time spent leisurely reading an entertainment magazine and sipping some tea - maybe even nibbling on some dried fruits and nuts. Instead, I was escorted directly into the massage room, instructed to disrobe and get under the covers. Afterward, I had to ask for a robe and where the sauna and steam rooms and shower were located. And to boot, there weren't any snacks! Though the actual massage was great, I didn't feel pampered. My time at this "tranquil" spa felt very much like a "slam-bam, thank you ma'am" moment: empty.

Ninety-minutes after my arrival, I was at the front desk paying for my services. They asked about my massage. To which I replied, "good." (It was.) However, they didn't ask about my visit, which would have encompassed my overall experience and tapped into the gap between it and my expectations. So, I never got a chance to tell them, "Technique is not enough!"

Goodbye Microsoft Money

There are a handful of personal finance software programs. Quicken by Intuit has always ranked #1, and Quicken Deluxe is all I have ever used -- personally and for my business. Therefore, I cannot fathom the task Microsoft Money users are about to undertake.

Yesterday, Microsoft announced that effective 30 June 2009 it would no longer make available for sale its personal finance software program Microsoft Money. I am not directly affected by this news; but boy, I can certainly empathize with what MM users must be going through as the sunset for MM nears.

First, they have to research and find another option. This task, though daunting, pales in comparison to the second thing they have to do: Figure out how to migrate the information in MM to a new platform, hoping (with baited breath, probably) that the data's integrity isn't compromised in the process. Ugh...just imagining it makes me anxious.

And herein lies an opportunity that from what I have heard and read so far Microsoft is missing out on. They could imbue a sense of loyalty from current MM users if they provided guidance on what to do next and how to go about doing it. Imagine if every MM user got a letter or email listing several alternatives, assistance with backing up their current data, and assistance with migrating the data to the platform of the customer's choice? Talk about creating a fan forever! Fans are better than even the best designed PR campaign.

I hope you are listening Microsoft. And to you MM users--I wish you the best of luck!

"Dirty Pretty Things"

The plot of the 2002 movie, "Dirty Pretty Things," has absolutely nothing to do with what is happening on Wall and Main Streets in 2009. Yet somehow, the title of this great movie seems a fitting way to a) describe the individual and collective unease of employers, employees, and investors, and b) highlight the tradeoffs that the circumstances of life often asks us to make.

Despite Washington, DCs efforts to stimulate the economy and in so doing restore confidence in the markets, the financial news just continues to get worse. Today, the Dow Jones Industrial Average declined to a low not seen since October 1997.

Where is the light at the end of the tunnel and how far away is it? I sure wish I knew; then I would feel as though I could offer words of comfort that would not be received as "pollyannish" and would actually make people feel comfortable. 

Instead, what I can offer is a suggestion: Say, "thank you." There's no denying the outlook looks bleak, but to see only the bleakness of the moment is akin to a fully sighted person walking around all day seeing the world through a single eye. What I have learned is that "thank you" is a way of acknowledging the duality of the good/bad that exists in all situations and is part of all experiences. It takes a lot of work to keep yourself centered when moment after moment you are bombarded with dire information and forecasts. But it is precisely what is needed to counter the ill-effects of only seeing what isn't working, what's wrong, what's missing, or what could be better. We need to practice  gratitude, even if it entails faking it until you genuinely feel it.

Distracted

Photo: Gary Wiepert/Reuters

Understandably so, there’s a solemn shadow hovering over my mother’s office today. The sister of one of her co-workers was a passenger on that fatal plane crash in Buffalo last night. My thoughts and prayers are with the family members and friends of the crash victims as they mourn their loss and the folks in the Buffalo area as they deal with the after-math.

I didn’t know any of the crash victims personally. Yet, I am completely distracted today – sad actually. As I take care of the tasks that are mine to do, I do so in a suspended state of detachment aware of my distraction but determined not to be sidetracked by it too much.

Tragedies always have a way of catching our attention and prompting us – hopefully - to pay attention. And though this is a large-scale distraction, I am reminded of the fact that we encounter distractions on a much smaller scale, daily.  Last night’s plane crash is heartrending. But, to me, just as tragic are what I call the “crash, boom, and burns,” that happen each and every day in our life and go unnoticed. Thus, waylaying our ability to see what we need to see, act upon what we need to act upon, and hampering our efforts to move in the direction we need to go.

In Search of Perfection

Most Democrats refer to the now enhanced economic stimulus package as a "stimulus bill;" many Republicans call the same effort a "spending bill." As I listen to the pros/cons of each perspective, I cannot help but wonder if we are experiencing a classic case of the adage, "splitting hairs?" After all, at the end of the day, aren't we - ultimately - spending money whether we call it a stimulus or spending package? 

I know a vote is imminent, but the process to getting to this point has been quite illuminating. For me, it is highlighting our cultural propensity to search for the perfect solution (defined as the one that will satisfy everyone) at our own peril. Never mind the fact that no such solution exists, we seem to thrive on the back-and-forth that comes with weighing whether option A is better or worse than option B.

At a young age, I learned from my mother that you never really know if you should have chosen B when you chose A. More times than I care to count, her words to me were: "you lose some, you win some, and some just get rained out." Perhaps I find solace in her words because I'm such a fan of the Yankees. But they remind me that instead of searching for the perfect solution, sometimes you have to make what you end up with perfect.

Rules of the Game

Donovan McNabb's professional gaffe after Sunday's game against the Cincinnatti Bengals is old news by now.  His admission of ignorance made Mr. McNabb the butt of many a joke on late-night television, and was perfect fodder for Monday's water cooler conversations. 

The only time I watch football is during the SuperBowl game. Yet I - much like die-hard football fans, especially Philadelphia Eagles fans - found the incident tragically comical. After playing in the NFL for ten years, it is hard to imagine that he didn't know a long-standing rule of the game, which is that a regular season game can end in a tie.

Step away from the game of football, though, and it is easy to see that Mr. McNabb isn't in a league all to himself. Blissful (?) ignorance abounds, and it is the culprit behind many misunderstandings, mishaps, mistakes, and missteps. Perhaps our current financial crisis could have been averted entirely or mitigated slightly had the rules of the game of money and life been observed...and respected. As I continue to watch the market value of my investment holdings decline, I only wish we could stay any further declines and call it a tie.

New Year's Eve...in November

It feels so good to say, "President-elect Barack Obama." My cup is overflowing with joy, gratitude, and yes, hope! I am still savoring Tuesday night's victory and all that it means, and I do so knowing that while our votes have been cast and the wait is over our work has really just begun.

The panoramic view of the people assembled at Grant Park in Chicago and elsewhere in the United States and around the globe was breathtaking. The images, especially of Times Square in New York City, looked like a New Year's Eve celebration. And I suppose the weight of the evening was akin to the feelings normally associated with crossing-over from one year into the next: excitement, anticipation, optimism, and the realization that a new year represents an opportunity to redefine who you are and how you do things.

The United States' choice of the 44th President of the United States of America certainly represents a "new" America. How we made that choice has forever changed the way citizens become engaged in and with the election and governing processes of our country. As it turns out, we (in the truest sense of the word) do have a voice. In President-elect Obama's humble victory speech, he made it a point to highlight that the victory wasn't "his," that it was "ours." It will become critically important for us to remember this as the high from Tuesday subsides, and the reality of how much work there is to do slaps us in the face.

Millions of people contributed to a very lengthy presidential campaign; they volunteered their time, donated their money, and/or offered well wishes. We can and should allow ourselves a brief moment to rest in the sweetness of crossing the threshold of change. But soon, we have to get our heads out of the clouds and start to apply the grassroots principles and protocols of sacrifice and accountability to helping President-elect Obama and all of our elected officials. If we have learned (or rediscovered) nothing else from this election season it is that government can and should be a two-way street. A combination of factors ushered in this "new" day and if we want this to translate into a long-lasting "new" way, the work that went into the campaign leading to the vote cannot stop. The same groups - both large and small - that gathered together on election night to witness the dawning of a new day are the same people that must keep the momentum going. Said another way: our work didn't stop on Tuesday, 4 November, 2008 - that was just the beginning!

And now we wait

By the time I reached my polling place at 7:00 a.m., the line was on its way to wrapping around two corners. It was so exciting to see so many people queuing up to cast their vote. While I have a personal preference as to who I'd like to see in the Oval Office and was silently hoping all the people standing in line were voting for "my" candidate, it was thrilling just to see hundreds of people engaged in the civic and powerful activity of voting. Especially moving to me was the number of people who roused their children and brought them along to witness not only democracy in action, but a historic moment in our history.

Whether you voted this morning, or plan to vote this afternoon or evening, once done, it is simply time to wait. I am so giddy with excitement that is hard to concentrate and get work done. And as I wrestle with maintaining focus, I am reminded of a subtle yet profound universal truth: we must do our part to participate in molding the outcome, but - at the end of the day - the outcome is not in our control.